Will you still love me?
by Samoose
Summary: Based on Lana del rey's "Young and Beautiful", this short fic features Gabriel falling to be human with Sam. There's a dream sequence and some fluffy affection talk but it's mostly feels. It's Sabriel! and there's no inappropriate content in it this time, sadly.


Gabriel took a deep breath, his gaze swept the expanses of the Heaven he had called home for so many years. He had never been a totally conventional angel, and now he was finally ready to turn his back on Heaven for good. He would say it was a long time coming...but he had another reason.

Sam Winchester.

A fond smile crept on his face as the name drifted through his mind, trailed by sweet memories and the promise of beautiful futures. The young Winchester waited for him down on Earth and he shouldn't keep him waiting any longer.

Angels usually flew with their eyes closed out of habit, but this time he forced himself to look. He was overwhelmed by Heaven and the cosmos and miles of Earth passing him by in a blur of a second's worth of travel. Call it a little late to be reminiscing about the beauty of being an angel, but hey...never know what you have until it's gone.

He found himself standing in a park, Sam was sitting on a bench where he'd been waiting and he jumped up to meet his more heavenly half.

"I was starting to think you were having second thoughts." there was fear hiding behind the joking statement and Gabe rolled his eyes

"Me? Second thoughts. Ha!" he closed the space between them and slipped his hand into Sam's, gazing up at him with a defiant affection "Not for this guy... no regrets. Now let's do this."

They sat in a dark basement, sigils painted on the walls to ward off enemies just in case. Turns out it was a simple ritual to remove an angel's grace but hardly anyone had done it. Gabriel sat cross-legged inside a circle of spells written on the ground, waiting for the clock to hit 3am, when the spells would be activated and his grace would be stripped. He swallowed hard, his confident facade was starting to slip as the moment drew near.

"Sam..." his voice was almost inaudible, but the Winchester would have heard a pin drop with his nerves as shaky as they were. "Yeah?"

" Will you still love me when I trade my grace in for a soul? When I grow old?" the insecurities felt old on his tongue, they'd lingered in his mind for months.

Sam shook his head with a somber affectionate smile "Of course. Question is are you really willing to give all this up for _me_?"

They'd had this talk before, but in signature Gabriel style, so Sam was never sure what was a joke and what was actually on his mind. This was a rare moment when the archangel was painfully real and honest.

He sighed hard, "I got to have my cake and eat it, too. I saw the world form from nothing and I made it the stage for my 'fuck you' to the fam. I've experienced everything. But when we angels tried to bring in the new age and well... i'm happy I sided with humans in the end. With you. That's an experience I would never have on my safe little cloud in the sky. Your soul is _electric_, Sam...you make me feel like I could do anything. Doesn't hurt that you have a pretty face, either." He attempted a brow waggle but faltered and gave a hollow laugh instead. His nerves were showing more and more as the minutes passed. "I'm sure, okay? I want this. I want _you_."

Sam couldn't speak. He was shocked into silence and all he could do was nod while his mind searched for anything to say. He walked over and took the archangel's hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly.

They passed the remaining time in silence.

The clock struck three.

The ritual didn't take long, but it was painful for Gabriel in ways he didn't know how to describe. He choked back a sob, but not from physical pain, it was the sensation of his grace leaving him and his sliver of omnipotence slipping away that left him feeling empty and heavy at the same time. It took his breath away and shock settled like cold glass in his bones.

For the first time in his existence, Gabriel knew what it was like to be at the mercy of a ticking clock, to be powerless and confused and insecure. Heaven and Earth used to constantly buzz in his mind but now...it was so quiet.

It was haunting.

If not for Sam holding his hand, he might have lost himself. Sam gripped his hand like their lives depended on it, worry creased between his brows "Gabriel...are...you gonna be okay?" he ventured to ask after a long minute's silence.

Gabriel remembered where he was all at once and he blinked away his confusion "Y-yeah, Sammy, just give me a minute. It's nothin' I can't handle."

The once-angel took his time composing himself, and Sam stayed with him the entire time, holding his hand and hushing him gently when he tried to hide his tears.

They never could have anticipated the shock and strain that losing grace put on an angel's mind, but all things considered Gabriel did an amazing job bouncing back.

Back at home, sleeping was a treat, but it came with its own worries.

Gabriel knew it was going to happen and yet still that first night he couldn't fall asleep until he was too exhausted to stay awake any longer. He felt like he was falling in a sea of darkness and it reminded him too much of dying, the closest thing an angel ever felt to sleep.

But when he awoke the next morning he seemed more calm and he became fond of catnaps with the sun spilling in the windows and warming him up.

For a couple days it was hard for Gabe to pull himself out of bed, Sam didn't know if it was fascination with sleeping and dreaming or depression.

Inside his dreams, Gabriel ice skated, rode on giraffe's backs, and swam in a sea of cotton candy. All his illusions from his trickster days were still available to him in his dreams, he was lost in the euphoria of the freedom in dreams.

Then one night he dreamt about he and Sam.

_They were a happy old married couple and one night in his sleep he had passed away. Paving a path to Heaven before his darling moose. He stood at the gates with the eyes of his brothers boring into him judgmentally. His father greeted him and beckoned him in but there was only one thing on his mind._

_"Dad I... I know I haven't always been the best son. But please, is Sam going to come to Heaven? I don't think I can be here without him." _

_Gabriel's brothers scoffed and turned their backs on his heresy. The demon blood boy...a Winchester...coming to Heaven? Insanity._

_God's presence thrummed in question, why did Sam Winchester deserve to be in Heaven's embrace?_

_The ex-angel felt desperate, shaking as he faced an eternity without his love. "He's my __**sun**__, he has more grace than any angel I ever knew, when I think about him I just want to dance n' sing out my love for him. I __**love**__ him. Please...father...if he comes to these gates will you let him in. Can you tell me that you'll let him in?"_

_The presence of God receded but Gabriel felt a comfort that warmed the coldness in his human soul. He would spend eternity with Sam Winchester in a Heaven all their own. In his old age he had no fear of weeping openly, and so he did._

When Gabriel awoke the next morning he hopped up and checked himself in the mirror, okay...still young...and beautiful too. He gave himself a wink in the mirror and went into the kitchen to make breakfast. He vowed to stop wasting so much of their time on Earth together sleeping.

Sam thought it was strange when Gabriel stopped taking naps, but he didn't push. He knew Gabe would deal with this the only way he knew how, by himself. And he trusted the man to come to him if he needed someone to talk to.

A month passed, littered with trips to the zoo, dinners, movies, memories that Sam wouldn't trade for the world...they laid naked together in bed with their fingers laced together and Sam watched Gabe stare at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"You know i'll always love you." Gabriel stated, "Because you're written on my soul in permanent ink, Samsquatch. You're all i'll ever need."

And they continued to love one another for years...for eternity.


End file.
